IMG_6516.jpeg

welcome

suite book

Welcome to the historic Painted Lady Bed & Brew in Albuquerque, New Mexico. A twist on the traditional B&B concept, Painted Lady Bed & Brew is the first of its kind in New Mexico and one of only a handful of such unique establishments in the country (featured in The 25 places you need to travel in 2020 by Matador Network, The New York Times, Travel Channel and more). Built in 1881 as a brothel and saloon with "wine room in connection," the property has quite the colorful past. Tales of buried money, hidden rooms, and Billy the Kid are all waiting inside. Please use your smart phone to scan the various QR codes throughout each suite (a QR app may be needed). The background of this property is unique and rich; please be sure to read the history section (A Sordid Past; A Storied Future) of this guide to gain a better appreciation of where you are sleeping. As one guest remarked, “if these walls could talk...they’d moan!” 

 

Before you start getting unpacked and settled in, there are a few simple things you need to know to make your stay here enjoyable. We implore you to treat this unique place with the same respect as you would your own home. We’ve put a lot of effort into making this a lovely space to be enjoyed by guests all over the world. If anything is unclear, please contact us so we can explain in further detail to avoid any misunderstandings. Please note the following “House Rules” below.

 

Cheers and welcome to The Lady!

 

Jesse

Hours of operation

 

The Lady is a non-hosted facility. We are not a traditional establishment so please understand that our lodging style is a hybrid between a B&B, apartment-hotel and Airbnb. Management and staff are available between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. to tend to your needs. You can call or text during those hours (and after hours) at 505-200-3999. We do, however, live on the property in the suite on the east end of the building. Please keep in mind that you are sharing this space with permanent residents.

 

NOISE & Quiet hours strictly enforced
10:00 p.m. – 8:00 a.m.

 

We are on the outskirts of the Historic Wells Park Neighborhood and there are residential homes to the south of us. Just like this unique place, our neighborhood is important to us. Most of the residents live here full-time (and have for many years). Please help us stay good neighbors. We spent many years rezoning the property so that we can acquire the proper licensing to serve you some of the best craft beer in Albuquerque. This took a lot of cooperation with our neighbors and neighborhood association. Please be respectful of that. 

  • For the comfort and enjoyment of all guests (and neighbors), please be mindful and keep noise to a minimum during QUIET HOURS (10:00 p.m. - 8:00 a.m.). If you become aware of a disruptive guest, please contact us immediately at 505-200-3999. Televisions, voices, or other devices must be kept at a respectful low level at all times. Doors should be opened and closed quietly. 

  • As this suite borders the neighboring suites, please be especially conscientious about noise. Please note that private, bedroom patios are adjacent to neighboring sleeping rooms and noise should be kept to a minimum during Quiet Hours. 


VISITORS
 

Thinking of inviting some friends over? Please check with us first! Non-registered guests are allowed on the property only with prior approval from management. This privilege is not guaranteed and all unregistered guests who are given permission to visit must leave and remain off property during Quiet Hours (10 p.m.  - 8 a.m.). Guests must notify management upon their arrival. Visitors must be accompanied by the registered guest at all times.

  • You are responsible for your guest at all times. Please inform them of any of these rules that may pertain to them (noise, smoking, etc.). 

  • Please do not give out gate codes or prop gates open for visitors, delivery drivers, etc. Rather, greet and receive them at outdoor gates. 

  • The parking lot is for registered guests only. Please instruct visitors to park alongside the property on Bellamah Avenue.

  • Any additional overnight visitors must be approved in advance and are subject to an additional fee as noted in our rates.

  • Guests’ parties, events and large gatherings of any kind are strictly prohibited at the Painted Lady. Any small gathering must comply with rules regarding noise.
     

NO IN-ROOM PARTY

 

Painted Lady Bed & Brew enforces a No In-Room Party Policy to ensure we can protect the property and our guests at all times. We are a small inn. Please do not come here to party. No parties, loud disturbances and/or noise-nuisance are allowed or tolerated on these premises. In the event of a disturbance, one polite request (warning) will be given to reduce the noise. If our request is not followed, the guest will be asked to leave the property without refund.

 

PARKING

We have on-site, gated parking on our property for six vehicles. There is also ample parking for additional cars to park along the street on Bellamah Avenue. Please always try to park in the parking lot before parking on the street. Do note that it is a tight lot with low overhead clearance and that oversized vehicles may have a harder time parking. All vehicles are parked at the risk of the owner. We do not assume liability or responsibility for any vehicle, occupants, or contents while operated or parked on the property. Do not park at the west entrance (Event Entrance) as these two spaces are reserved for Pink Warrior House.

SAFETY
 

While we have taken the necessary measures to make the property safe for incoming guests, you also have a role to play in ensuring the safety and security of your party. There are actions you can follow to keep the house secure during your stay.

  • Always lock main suite doors. The deadbolt is located on the inside of the door. Be sure to manually lock south bedroom doors that lead to patios.  

  • Any time you or your party leave the property, it is your responsibility to ensure all windows and doors are closed and locked to maintain security and prevent rain and water damage. 

  • Please be sure that outdoor gates close all the way and lock behind you. Give it a firm pull just to make sure it’s secure! 

  • We are not responsible for the loss of any personal belongings or valuables. In case you misplace something in the room, please let us know so we can look out for the item during the changeover and cleaning.

  • In the event of an emergency, please call 911 immediately. 

  • For minor cuts and scrapes, there is a first-aid kit underneath each kitchen sink.

 

FIRE PIT

The property has an alluring fire pit. We kindly supply firewood and fire starter. Please take extra care when using the fire pit. Please note that the fire pit closes at 11:00 p.m. and Quiet Hours rules must still be observed.

 

  • Especially important is to ensure that the fire is completely out (or just about) before you leave the area. You do not need to douse it with water or dirt.

  • Please leave ashes in the fire pit until the following day. (we’ve made this mistake; it burns faster than you’d expect!); there is a galvanized metal ash container adjacent to each fire pit for ash disposal.

  • There is a located inside each suite in the cabinet below the kitchen sink. There is also a fire extinguisher located outdoors on the west end of the portal (covered porch) and one near each fire pit. Please follow the instructions posted on the device itself in the event of a fire. 
     

SMOKING
 

The Painted Lady is a smoke-free zone inside. This is important to us in order to keep our property in the best condition possible. 

  • Smoking is not allowed in the building, in guest rooms, in public outdoor areas or in private outdoor patios and courtyards. Guests can only smoke in outdoor areas like the fire pit area as long as you respect the proximity of other guests. Please do not smoke under the covered portal (porch) or on bedroom patio(s). 

  • Evidence of smoking including the smell of smoke in the room or in the public and private outdoor areas will result in a minimum $250 charge plus the cost of any damaged property. No burning of any sort of object including candles or incense is allowed, and no other strongly scented items are allowed in rooms. All of the above are subject to cleaning and damage fees.

  • Please do not throw cigarette butts onto the property; dispose of them in the ash receptacle provided (located only at main fire pit). 
     

PETS
 

Well-behaved pets are always welcome at Painted Lady. If you’re staying here with your pet, there are some things we’d like you to help us out with to ensure a smooth stay for everybody. 

  • Firstly, pets must be declared during booking. If you have not paid the “Bring Fido” fee (per stay for up to two pets) in advance, please let us know so that we can process payment for you. Alternately, you can pay online at breakfastisoverrated.com/upgrades.

  • No more than two well-behaved family pets are permitted unless they are prohibited by state law or ordinance. Service animals are always welcome (no charge).

  • Please keep your pet on a leash (or in a carrier) when you are outside your room.

  • In consideration of all Painted Lady guests, a pet must never be left unattended in the guestroom.

  • Please don’t let pets up onto the furniture, especially sofas and beds.

  • Guests are responsible for cleaning up after their pets. Please dispose of dog waste in outdoor trash receptacles instead of room waste bins. 
     

TRASH
 

  • There are designated recycling and trash disposal areas located against the northeast corner of the property (near the main parking area). Please note which receptacles are for recycling and which are for general refuse.

  • Glass recycling is not picked up by the City; please place all glass in the smallest of the blue receptacles (adjacent the recycling containers). 
     

KIDS
 

We try to keep the property as kid-friendly as possible while also maintaining a quiet and enjoyable place for adults. That said, parents have the responsibility of ensuring their children’s safety at all times. If you find anything to be unsafe or that requires revision at our property, please inform us so that we can address the issue. To maintain our kid-friendly status, we ask that you:

  • Never leave children unsupervised.

  • The outdoor area is an alluring place for children to play. To avoid danger, please don’t let them play in the parking lot. 

  • Do not allow kids to climb on small structures (like fountains) or throw rocks from the landscaping. 

  • Please note that the outdoor tables and hard surfaces are wooden and may pose a splinter hazard to children (and adults for that matter). 

  • Swings! We love the fire pit swing. But, it is meant for “swaying,” not “swinging.” Make sure children are supervised while swaying.  
     

HEATING & COOLING


Please switch off the lights, air conditioning, fans and electronics (such as televisions) when not in use to promote energy saving. 

  • The mini splits can be controlled using the remote on the wall in the respective room. 

  • Most importantly, you have to point the remote at the wall unit and wait for it to register with a ‘beep’ for each adjustment. If you try to just push the buttons on the remote without it being pointed properly, no changes will be registered. Also, because the entire suite operates off of the same main unit (mounted on the roof), each mini split in your suite has to be on the same setting. For example, one bedroom cannot be set to “Heat” while another is set to “Cool.” They must be on the same “mode” setting to work. 

  • Please also keep doors closed to keep bugs out!

  • The small “transom” windows above the doors are original to the property. Please do not try to force these open. First, pull the pin above the door to unlock the window. Next, find the long rod to the right and squeeze the two clamps together with your fingers while moving the rod up to allow the window to open.  
     

TELEVISION/APPLE TV
 

Please enjoy complimentary access to Netflix, Prime Video and Hulu. Use the TV remote (black remote) and press the “input” button to change the HDMI input between TV and Apple TV. You can then use the smaller remote to control Apple TV. There are digital channels available that should allow you to watch an assortment of over-the-air, digital channels). 
 

THE NEIGHBORHOOD
 

The Wells Park Neighborhood is generally a safe neighborhood to walk about freely (day or night). Just like any big city, be aware of your surroundings and try to stay in groups of at least two people. The neighborhood and surrounding area is home to nearly a dozen production breweries, distilleries, and tap rooms. Most of the breweries are dog and kid-friendly. Check respective websites for hours of operations and beers on tap.

 

CHECK-OUT

 

Check-out time is 11:00 a.m. Before you leave, we humbly ask a couple of favors to help us prepare for the next guests.

 

  1. Be sure to take a quick look around to see that you have all of your belongings. If you inadvertently leave something, we are happy to ship it to you.

  2. Please load all dishes into the dishwasher and run it on the normal cycle. Dish detergent tablets are in the cabinet below the sink (just pop it in - no need to unwrap it). 

  3. Please place all used bed sheets/pillowcases, towels, wash cloths, hand towels, etc. in a pile in the bedroom/bathroom, respectively.

  4. Remove any opened food items from the refrigerator. 

  5. Take out garbage/recycling to bins against northeast fence (adjacent to parking lot). The light blue bin is for recycling only (no glass). 

  6. Turn off all lights and heating/cooling units. Use the remote and be sure to aim it at the device. You will hear a beep and the louvres will close entirely. 

  7. Lock all doors behind you. Please ensure that north-facing bedroom doors opening to private patios are locked.